15/12/2010 by admin.

Every waking second we are thinking about something, our mind will drift into myriad thoughts that will have a real impact on how we behave moment by moment. Oftentimes these thoughts may be very helpful and guide us to create some wonderful experiences in our lives. However, the flip side of the coin is when the thoughts we have are negative in origin and lead us into a pattern of ruminations that impact on our body in very real and debilitating ways.

Our brain is a storehouse of emotions and is hardwired for our survival, we have an untapped potential of power if only we knew how to use it. My intention with this book is to guide you in small steps and show you a range of techniques that you can use to create the life and confidence that you deserve.

As I am sure you are aware when you are thinking in a positive way the emotions and the physiological responses in your body feel very good and you are more upbeat about life generally. When those negative thoughts kick in, it is a very different response. The feelings of misery and lethargy run through our mind and body. Then the internal dialogue begins, “I can never do this!” Or “Everything I do goes wrong.” This is very common when people are running negative thought patterns through their body. Your brain will respond with the appropriate behaviour as a result of your dominant thoughts. Therefore our thoughts affect our behaviour, which in turn further affect our thoughts and so the cycle continues until something stops the process.

Our thoughts and our emotions are inextricably interlinked and very often they may arise out of the blue without conscious control. When this happens the most useful thing that we can do is to choose how much attention we pay to them. When we realise that we do have the power of choice it makes us “response-able,” which means that we can choose how to respond to what we think. Now, I use the word choose quite deliberately, because I do believe that we each have a choice about what we think, what we do and how we behave in our day to day existence. I appreciate that this may be a big ask , to accept this early on in the book, but I would suggest that you stay with me, because I am confident that you will see the relevance of this word as we work together on this journey.

My intention is not to persuade you to do any particular thing, merely to give you more choices to use in your life and as a result become the master of your own destiny and not the slave to inappropriate thinking patterns. Whatever we choose to think will affect the emotions in our body and those emotions when triggered will produce significant physical reactions as a result.

When we talk about emotions we are really talking about our physical feelings and what is going on in our body as a result of these emotions. Typically, an emotion will surface up from the limbic system in our brain without warning, we have the experience and start to think about what it means; we then interpret the thought to be either good or bad and we then behave accordingly.

If we were to do this at the conscious level, we would focus on a thought or emotion in a particular context using the conscious mind and the limbic system will trigger the emotion and once again we will behave accordingly. Effectively, we experience two-way emotional traffic in the limbic area of the brain, from the unconscious up and from the conscious down!A person who is thinking in a positive way will experience more positive emotions. For example, a child who is looking forward to their birthday and becoming a teenager will have emotions such as joy, happiness and excitement. This will create feelings in his or her body such as excitement in the tummy. They may find themselves laughing and more cheerful than normal, all because they are experiencing positive thoughts which in turn create positive emotions.
 

Similarly when a person thinks about things in a negative way they will also have negative emotions occur as a result. For example in the past I have seen students who were about to take an examination suddenly become very shaky and start to feel physically sick. When I asked them how they were thinking about the examination they would typically say things like, “I always freeze in exams.” Or “Whenever I have to take an examination I can’t sleep and worry about it for days before.” When you read into these responses, what is going on in the mind in the form of thoughts is becoming a “Self Fulfilling Prophecy.” Very often these students did not perform to their true potential. We are either playing to win or playing to survive.

The idea of a Self Fulfilling Prophecy has its roots in Greek mythology and it is attributed to the sculptor Pygmalion. He created a beautiful ivory statue of a woman whom he fell in love with. Pygmalion named the statue Galatea and he would dress her in the finest clothes and jewels. He would pray to Venus the goddess of love that he could find a woman as beautiful as the one he created. The myth goes on to suggest that the statue was brought to life by the Venus after witnessing the love that Pygmalion displayed for Galeta. Once we make up our mind about something or someone it often happens. Now I am not suggesting that you will bring statues to life, only that what you hold to be true in your mind will often manifest itself in your life.

The effects of the Self Fulfilling Prophecy and the expectations of teachers was carried out in a survey of teachers by Rosenthal and Jacobson (1968). In that survey it was discovered that the expectations of teachers had a significant effect on the performance of their students. If the teachers held positive expectations about the performance and abilities of their students, the students would display improvement in the subjects being taught. This is important information to be aware of if you are a coach, teacher or trainer, because your students will meet your expectations. What would happen to your student’s ability to learn if you are a riding instructor who holds the internal belief that this student will never get it right?  The Self Fulfilling Prophecy is pervasive in its impact.

At the same time, these feelings which are caused by the thinking process and the emotional responses that result will play a significant part in how our body responds and behaves in the long term. It is well known that when we do not have sufficient coping strategies to deal with the stressors of our daily lives the body will react in a very negative way. Just like the person who is lacking in confidence and self esteem and how their thinking patterns about themselves can have a real impact on their life in many ways, such as work, social interactions and relationships.

I have worked with many people in relation to confidence issues or more appropriately, lack of confidence and self esteem. This issue really impacts their life every day. At work they are constantly worried about their performance; doubting their own abilities, not being able to stand up to the office loud mouth who thinks that making fun of them is amusing.

To be continued….

Extract from the Confident Competent Rider By Becky Chapman & Peter Doherty

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Peter Doherty specialises in helping clients to overcome Anxieties, Fears, and Phobias, allowing clients to take back control of their life. He has extensive experience in this area and particularly in helping equestrians to overcome their psychological blocks in riding. To get instant access to his MP3 to reduce negative thinking visit:www.peterjdoherty.co.uk

Becky Chapman: www.ashenec.co.uk

Copyright 2010 Peter Doherty & Becky Chapman

This article may be reprinted provided no part thereof is edited in any way and this resource box is included.

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29/03/2010 by admin.

All We Have is Now

I know it is sad to admit to this, but yes, I do the Facebook thing occasionally. Well, I went for a visit recently and a good friend of mine had asked the following question:

“OK for those of you who answered the last comment about what you would do with the £86,400 you received daily! The next installment…You all gave it some thought, you seem to have a plan, think about the number, 86,400 why was I so specific? you get 86,400 of these every day….do you place as much thought into planning what you would do with these as you would with £86,400…think about it…what could they be?”

Well, my first attempt was, “Negative Thoughts”, because I know when people are stressed or suffering from anxiety, they activate a lot of ruminative thinking patterns. So feeling fairly pleased with myself I posted my response.

Alas, I was off track and had to rethink my answer and then it occurred to me, it’s all about time. We have 86,400 seconds every day, no more, no less and what do we do with that time to maximise our lives?

That set me to thinking “What do I do to maximise my 86,400?” I thought about how easy it is to just put things off for another day or to make some weak excuse for not following through. It caused me to do a lot of thinking.

I thought about my reasons for being a therapist and helping people to overcome anxiety, fears and phobias, letting go of stress and gaining confidence. I thought about the people I have known and some of whom I loved who have passed away in the recent past. I thought about how in real terms our time is very limited on this stage of our journey. I thought about the “Rocking Chair Test.”

I heard about the Rocking Chair Test while listening to Tony Robbins, a very inspirational and motivational speaker. In short the test is, if you imagine going out into your future and seeing your life through those eyes as you sit in your rocking chair and then reflect on your life.
What would you be pleased about?

What would you regret not having done?
What did you always dream about, but did no more than dream?
This very simple, yet powerful exercise will give you a real wake up call, particularly if you are procrastinating every day.

As Mark Twain once said:

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do.

Explore…Dream…Discover…

So, start now.

I know now what I am going to do to maximise my 86,400…do you?

Until next time

Take care

Pete

LTW

www.the-confidence-company.co.uk

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